Tending The Garden
by slenderpanda597
Summary: When Susie buys a book at a low point in her life, can any highlights come from it?


(a/n - indulge me. There aren't enough Caroline and Susie fics out there. This comes from the idea that in floriography, to display homosexual love, one uses grass. I don't own Jam and Jerusalem, I just own the belief that Caroline and Susie were secretly together, and that more people should write fics about them. Also, this isn't smut *le gasp* so buckle up for some fluffiness, dear pals!)

Tending The Garden

Susie browsed through the various books at the charity bric-a-brac sale, seeing if there were any titles which caught her eye. She had to buy something, to show support to those less advantaged than her, but nothing was catching her eye. She caught sight of Pauline looking at her from the other end of the table, sorting through some balls of wool. Susie turned away quickly so as not to see the look of pity sent her way. She was getting a lot of those now it had happened. Susie had always tried to fit in, to save herself from looking a fool. Married a businessman, had two children, joined the Women's Guild. But, unfortunately, her husband had left her and taken the children with him. Moved to the city to be near his office and his rich (and young) financial advisor girlfriend. Susie had fought to keep the children, but, after an intense custody battle that Susie didn't really cope all that well with, it had been ruled that the father and his partner in the city would provide a better quality of life than the mother in the countryside. Susie hadn't minded too much about being alone, even if she did miss the routine of the daily school run, she had enough money from her inheritance as a result of her parents' deaths to cover her living, since she had been allowed to keep the house (which luckily didn't have a mortgage left to pay) as part of the divorce proceedings. The Women's Guild had learned to keep away from her while she kept herself to herself, even Kate had eventually decided not to keep calling round and gabbling about recovery procedures. Susie had even refrained from the advances of Mickey Douglas in the pub when she went for a drink one evening. She didn't want to repeat a drunken night with him where she would be filled with regret for months after, and not be able to look his wife (or herself) in the eye for sometime. The only problem was, at around a similar time to her divorce proceedings, Caroline's husband John had died suddenly of a heart attack, and Caroline had shut herself away from the world. Susie missed her closest friend dreadfully, and found herself craving the small talk about ponies and people.

"That book look interesting, Susie, dear?" Eileen's voice broke through her thoughts, and Susie realised she had lapsed into thought whilst staring at the back of a book on Victoriana floriography. She smiled at the chairwoman, and nodded, paying for the book and leaving the sale to head home and make herself a strong cup of tea.

Drinking her tea, Susie found herself flicking through the floriography book. She found herself noticing plants she had in her garden, balm meant sympathy, and a general colour of chrysanthemum meant admiration. She thought of what they meant, and who she thought of. Caroline. Strong, admirable Caroline who had shut herself away. Alone. Her children grown up and in university or careers, too busy living life to care about their mother. Yet Susie cared about her. She walked into her garden and took some clippings from the plants. Taking them into the house, she tied ribbon around them and walked across the fields to Caroline's house, not wanting her car to be seen by the people of the village. She wandered past the barn and into the back garden. Peering through the window, she saw Caroline in the kitchen, slumped over a table with an empty glass before her. She knocked on the window, and saw Caroline duck down before looking and seeing it was Susie. She got up and opened the door, attempting to smile but failing when her hair was in such a rumpled state and her clothes were wrinkled. Susie presented her with the small bunch of plants and Caroline looked down at them.

"I've been learning some floriography and thought I would come and see you," Susie smiled and suddenly Caroline shut the door hastily, pulling Susie through the kitchen and up the stairs.

"Sorry, I heard Kate Bales." She offered as an explanation, and Susie nodded.

"She was trying to help me too, I kept ignoring her." Caroline sat down and sighed.

"I look a terrible state."

"You've lost your husband, it is understandable." Susie tried to offer support, and was shocked when her friend's head snapped up.

"That isn't the issue. This is a new chapter. I should be comfortable being me. But am I?! Can I be me?!" Caroline exploded emotionally, directing a torrent of words at Susie, before quietening. "I am sorry, maybe you should go for now. I'm a little confused currently. Thanks for the flowers though." Susie got up and walked down the stairs, letting herself out. She got home, and read some more of her floriography book, looking for more species to send to Caroline.

Sunday - Edelweiss for Courage was dropped off after church.

Monday - Golden Rod for Encouragement was delivered whilst a more relaxed looking Caroline was brushing her horses.

Tuesday - A bouquet of Roses for Gratitude was left on the back doorstep early in the morning.

Wednesday - Cattail for Prosperity was posted through the letterbox.

Thursday - a single White Violet was given, meaning Let's Take A Chance On Happiness. Caroline smiled as she took the flower from Susie, thanking her for her thoughtfulness and acknowledging Susie's new found love of floriography.

On Friday, Susie sat staring at a Pink Carnation, the symbol of Women's Love. She knew that Caroline probably had no idea as to what the various plants meant, and was just accepting them on a whim, and out of politeness towards her friend, but this new flower was a step too far perhaps. Throughout the week, Susie had come to realise that Caroline meant an awful lot to her. Well, she told herself, she hadn't realised, she had known for years. She had just admitted it to herself as the days wore on and she saw Caroline in a more vulnerable light. She posted the flower through the letterbox.

On Saturday, Susie looked at her floriography book on the table before her. She had always known that she wasn't what society termed as straight. She had never truly been attracted to Charles. When she had made love to Charles, the result had been two children. She hadn't really loved him though, and couldn't truly describe what she had done with him as lovemaking. The drunken evening with Mickey Douglas certainly couldn't be referred to as that. It was almost like trying to bake for a Guild event with plain flour rather than self raising. How could you make something when the ingredients were all wrong? The children, she had loved. A carkng and protective sort of love what comes from creating something small and innocent. But now they were gone. She knew that she loved Caroline, and that she needed to tell her. She loved her in the way she had never loved Charles. With Caroline, the baking would be with self raising flour and would give the right result, rather than something similar that could be passed off as the intended item, but wasn't quite right. Susie had always liked females, from the celebrities in Good Housekeeping to women she had joined in the local pantomime. But she had only truly loved one woman: Caroline. Maybe now she was divorced, now times had moved on slightly, Susie could show the world who she was, and maybe be accepted for it. If only Caroline knew. If only Caroline felt the same. Susie ran her finger over and over the line in her book:

Homosexual Love.

Underneath there were lists and illustrations of grasses - lemon grass, ginger grass, general grass, all referring to displaying love for a member of the same sex. On the table before her was a selection of grasses, tied together with some simple gardening twine. Did she reveal her true self, her true self that had been hidden for so long? The book was of Victoriana floriography. She looked over the line again, stroking it with her finger. If Victorians could show their affection, could display it in such a beautiful way as via nature, symbolising how natural their love was, then so could she. And if Caroline turned her down, then she would move away, never having to face her again, with the divorce an excuse for her heartbreak if the village of Clatterford asked. She sighed, and stood up.

Caroline opened her back door, looking much more rejuvenated than she had the previous Saturday. Susie handed her the grasses, and Caroline looked at them, a confused expression on her face. Susie glanced at her feet, then handed Caroline the book.

"I thought you might want to borrow this," she said quietly, handing it over, before turning and walking back down the garden.

Caroline sat down with the various plants she had received throughout the week and flicked through the book. Her horticultural knowledge made it easy to find them and she ran through the meanings.

Sympathy. Admiration. Courage. Encouragement. Gratitude. Prosperity. Let's Take A Chance On Happiness. Women's Love. Homosexual Love.

As the meanings progressed, Caroline felt her pulse quicken. She had always wondered about Susie, Caroline herself having feelings for her sometimes, which she suppressed to be with John, since she was his wife. But now Caroline was free, and able to possibly act upon her feelings. This was Susie giving her the most obvious hint, throwing caution to the wind on what society and status would say, and Caroline decided upon what she would do in response to this revelation.

Susie opened her door, and found Caroline stood there holding her book and Viscaria. Caroline left, and Susie shut the door, flicking through the book. Viscaria - Dance With Me? Susie immediately knew what to do. She ran to Caroline's, stopping in her garden along the way to pick a Solid Colour Carnation. Knocking on Caroline's door, she it was opened and Caroline stood on the threshold, looking at her apprehensively. Susie handed the flower to her, and she looked at it, and up at Susie, silently asking for the meaning.

"Yes."

Susie took Caroline in her arms, and swayed them around her kitchen and into her sitting room. Together they were silent yet comfortable, basking in the feel of being in the arms of a person they truly loved. Caroline leaned her head into Susie's neck, and Susie tightened her embrace around Caroline's waist. Swaying softly, they didn't talk for some time. Caroline broke the silence, whispering

"Thank you." Susie lifted her arm and spun Caroline outwards before guiding her to a chair. They had danced back into the kitchen, and were gazing at the vase of plants in the centre of the table. Susie took Caroline's hand and kissed it gently.

"I've liked you as more than a friend for some time, I must admit," she blushed slightly.

"One wonders why people are not more accepting of women being infatuated with one another. I mean, men now have modern ways of ploughing into things in order to disperse their seed, don't they?" Susie looked at her and smiled gently.

"Caroline, ploughing is a modern slang term for, well, sexual relations, and dispersing a man's seed is also related to that," she looked away, and Caroline turned her face back around.

"Nonetheless, the sentiment regarding women in relationships was there. Now, how about I offer you another Viscaria?" Caroline smiled, and Susie mirrored her.

"In which case, have a Solid Colour Carnation," she offered her hand, and they were up again, swaying around the kitchen table, their respective perfumes mingling together as they smiled into each other's shoulders.

Kate Bales was nothing if not an optimist. Susie had blatantly shut herself away after her divorce, and Caroline wasn't much better, not answering the door when Kate called. She skipped merrily up to the front door, and looked through the window. Not that she expected to see her. She went around to the back of the house in order to see if she was in the kitchen. Her training had told her that people tended to stay in the back of their houses to avoid confrontation with counsellors. She peered through the kitchen window and stopped. There, in the kitchen, was a spectacular sight to behold. Caroline and Susie were stuck together, smiling softly and swaying with each other. Kate hadn't had much experience with this sort of thing, but she had read articles about 'the modern woman' and 'love amongst ladies' in magazines, and though she wasn't sure about it herself, she saw the contentment on the faces of two women who had previously been miserable. And, she thought, if they were as happy as she was with Hillary, she couldn't begrudge them that. Thunder rolled in the distance, and Kate decided to go home before the rain hit. She remembered how the weatherman had been talking about storms heading south from northern England. She wouldn't tell anybody what she had seen, and she wouldn't interrupt them, for they complimented one another perfectly.

As the rain began to fall outside, and the moon appeared in the sky, Susie and Caroline leaned into one another and their lips brushed. Smiling into the affectionate gesture, they held on tightly to what was to be their new future, their road to recovery, and what they truly wanted.

They kissed again in Caroline's kitchen, with the flowers on the table and the northern downpour tending to the gardens, replenishing the flowers taken from them in order to to display their messages of love.

If floriography had been good enough for the Victorians, it had certainly been good enough for them.

~finite~

(a/n - thanks for allowing me to indulge. Also, London, count this as your reward for winning the Sev Quiz many moons ago. I think floriography is such a beautiful concept, and yes, I needed Caroline and Susie to have a go. You guys should totally write more J&J fics. Or just review this one. Thanks so much for reading.)


End file.
